OKCupid Messages I Sent That Never Got Responses

Alternate title of this post:  What’s wrong with me?

1)  Hi there,
I like the puppy in your second photo. He’s so cute! I love dogs big enough to wrestle but small enough that it’s obvious I’m letting them win.
That’s all. Just thought I’d say hi.

2)  What scares you about ET? Is it Drew Barrymore’s acting? She’s gotten a little better since then.

3)  Hi, I don’t think we have anything in common but we’re both hot so I just thought I’d write and say what’s up?

4)  Do you still have that red and white striped shirt? Can I borrow it? Are you a Kennedy?

5)  I laughed out loud when I saw you can’t live without whole milk.   Why whole milk? That’s kind of random, right?

6)  Hi, I don’t have a tramp stamp. But if I did, it would be black and really pretty script. And it would say FEMINIST. Irony is wicked hot.

7)  Hi, I think being able to walk through crowds IS a really good skill, and I’m glad you recognize it. Some people tend to panic and give up. I realized I didn’t like big crowds when I was at a Backstreet Boys Concert in the fifth grade. It was also the day I realized I love the Backstreet Boys. So many realizations.

8)  Hi,  I hate movies and the outdoors. I’m only outdoorsey if it’s an amusement park. But I really like talking about social issues.

9)  I was about to “wink” at you, but that just felt sooo slimey. So I decided to step up and write a message just to say hi.  Hi!

10)  Are you a nerd or a pervert?

I think my problem is I’m opening with “Hi” too much.  I think I might switch to “Hey.”