Nice Guys Finish Last

13 May

Trying to get writing after taking such a long break isn’t easy.  I think the best way to go about this is just to throw down whatever comes to mind.  Vomit words out of my fingers, so to speak.  Then the flow will come back to me naturally, or I’ll find a new hobby.  I’ve heard nice things about collecting commemorative plates.  Right now I eat off paper towels.

Have you seen the new video for Lady Gaga’s “Judas”?  When I first heard the song, like many others including and limited to my friend Ellie, I didn’t love it right away.  The chorus was bomb, but the rest of it just didn’t get me going.  Then I saw the video.  And booooy do I get it now.

I’ve never read the bible, but from what I can gather Jesus was the leader of a badass motorcycle gang.  Perhaps even the Jesse Katsopolis of his time.  Leather jacket, hot girlfriend, and maybe even performed with the Beach Boys once or twice.  I can totally dig it.  At first glance, Jesus is handsome, funny, charming, kind, interesting.  All the things a woman would look for in a man.

Then there’s Judas.  Oh, Judas.  A sloppy, drunk, touchy, feeley, touchy-feely, feelsie-touchie, hot mess of destruction.  Based on appearance alone I can already tell that man would not remember my birthday.  Judas types come in many different shapes and sizes; musicans, athletes, communication majors who you meet through friends at a Willy Wonka themed party…  And for some reason, this Judas character gets more hearts going than a pacemaker.
What makes a woman choose Judas over Jesus?  What is the appeal of the douchebag?  My theory is that there’s nothing flattering about a nice boy paying attention to you.  Yeah, he’s supposed to.  That’s what makes him nice.  Basically, I can sum it up to this–  I like when nice boys are nice.  I hate when nice boys are bad.  I like when bad boys are bad.  And I love when bad boys are nice.

Unfortunately, the bad boy always turns out to be the big loser, and the Jesus character comes out on top.  And ultimately, everything ends up being okay for that guy.  Right?

Nice guys finish last….  IN BED!

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One Response to “Nice Guys Finish Last”

  1. Ellen May 14, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    Having read the Bible throughout years of Catholic school I can say that this is 100% accurate.

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